WEEKLY MEDITATION 3: A Meditation on Artistry

M.03.23

2040: A Meditation on Living with a Creative Mind

When we talk about artistry we are talking about another throughline that brings us closer to our true form of expression. Last year, my artistry relied on my consistent and conscious awareness that I'm an artist. This year my artistry relies on my health, if I am taking care of my body and mental fitness then I am creating to an extent.

Sometimes artistry comes from doing something besides your art and doing that one thing to the point you become a better artist for doing so. You simply become more inspired.

Last year was a creative milestone. I published a book. It felt good to get an idea from start to completion and share it with the world. As life would have it, this week I was in a state of inertia. I used this time to readjust my goals and be present during my physical and mental reset.

As I've stated this year, I put health at the top of my priority list. I have worked out, on average, three days out of the week (not including weekends). However, this week I only put in two days of PT during the week which is far from my four to five day goal.

Last quarter, I lost 15 pounds. At my ideal weight I'd like to stick to one long fast a week, it sounds like a routine I can maintain.

This year I have a few things on my bucket list:

• Weigh: 184 pounds.

• Complete a project (😶‍🌫️x😱)

• Aid script through production.

• Family more.

• Earn more.

The end of the month is around the corner, and I know at some point I will return to Daydreams & Nightmares with more poise and patience. This tape will be a magnum opus. I feel so close yet so far from completion, and I am doing my best to be patient and be grateful when the time comes to rerecord my vocals and my performances. The tape is coming naturally to me. I feel the balance of lyricism, bangers, super entendre bending raps that are multi-layered into a concept of dreaming in the daytime, vs. dreaming at night. My concerns are coming from how long it's taken me to rerecord vocals, though some set backs have been out of my control. AYNT has done nothing but provide an amazing canvas.

With my health coming back into play, it feels good to know the next time I lock in will be with a pure level of focus. I will be at my best.

In other news, I am constantly reminded that I'm a rap geek and care about the little nuances amongst our culture. Last month my wife and I watched Lupe's MIT Lecture and came up with our own acronyms for RAP:

Rhythm & Poetry

Rhyme & Pattern

Rhetoric & Perspective

Reason & Poignancy

Rebirth Attracts Penmanship

Revolutions Assassinate Prejudices

Recreating Attractive People

Real Ass People Spit

Realigning And Propagating

Reinterpreting Any Pragmatism

Lupe's:

Rhetorical Anthropological Philosophical

Relationships Assocations Parallels

Recognizing Analogous Patterns

Reconciling Adversarial Patterning

AYNT's:

Repurposing All Pain

R.A.P

-MCMXX

WEEKLY MEDITATION 2: A Meditation on Unplugging

M.02.23

The YouTube algorithm is too good. For the last month or so, Youtube has recommended the above YouTube channel and a digging in the crates type of experience on My Analog Journal.

Wagner spoke to my peers and I directly in his featured segment on a day with a street photographer. He talked about the importance of unplugging. When I was in college, I unplugged so much people would physically check in on me to see if I was okay. I would also miss out on great experiences with friends who were near my dorm room, in between breaks from classes, because they could not reach me. What I learned from unplugging was my initial 90's upbringing helped me not rely on experiences solely online and it was still pertinent to my daily routine.

Since COVID, I've sustained an unhealthy balance of living and living on the internet. This is based on my standards. Online shopping, scrolling, YouTube rabbit holes, and delving more deeply into learning mediums, than I do creating in those spaces.

Though I am rarely on social media, and I don't have any alerts on my phone for text messages, etc... I want to have a better relationship with my phone, as Wagner stated.

Last week, I used my phone seldomly and was at using my phone five times a day. I did not include any times where I texted my wife or family with responses that were immediate, in my opinion, when it comes to family communication.

When I think back to healthy relationships I have obtained with technology I revert back to a few things - blogs, my Apple Watch, my Echo, and my laptop.

90% of my laptop use is for creating - write scripts and books, record music, mix vocals/production, edit photos, and edit videos. I have a better relationship with my laptop than I do my phone.

I have this dream of getting rid of my phone for good and just using my Apple Watch. What keeps me in this matrix loophole is the fact that my phone has a very reliable and convenient GPS. Also, most of the blog posts that I write are through the Wix app, on my phone. I also draft scripts on my phone using the Scrivener app.

Reliable and convenient are two words I would use to define my phone dependency. At the highest of my priority list is productivity, but I don't feel productive with my phone in hand unless I am blogging or trading creative notes with my peers.

I would also like to add the word inspiration to the relationship I have with my phone. Recently, my groomsmen have created a productive space in our group chat where we text or send pictures first thing in the morning whenever we have entered our training spaces. My peers are helping me get there. This was one thing I had on my bucket list and subconsciously we all came together to make this a tangible thing - continuing to build on our long term relationship and holding each other accountable for our physical and mental health.

This year, I want to use my phone twice a day, outside of my communication with my wife and famiy. My first use, morning check in with my close friends, and creatives about physical and mental health, our routine, and our mood. Second, a check in before I go to bed (if needed) for any follow ups to any collaborative projects with my peers. In addition, a diary reflection in my phone of to do's, progress, epiphanies and ambitions in life and my creative space.

I find myself doing a lot of research on my phone too - mixing videos, places to visit, etc... This eventually turns into a whole rabbit hole of unnecessary phone use - twitter trends, insta bookmarks on mixing, hiphopdx scrolls, the works. I guess this year will be more about inspiration from my inner circle, and using my Apple Watch to text if needed, and keeping my hands away from distractions.

I guess this year will be more about inspiration from my inner circle, and using my Apple Watch to text if needed, and keeping my hands away from distractions.

I want to use my hands for inspiration, and action. If I use my hands recreationally, example an ocassional cigar, I want my mind to be able to wander outside of a screen.

A lot of growth can come from this simple action. I feel I suffer from brain fog when my hands get used to doing boring stuff. My hands haven't cooked in a while or picked up a book consistently. My hands have been scrolling and purchasing, and saving and downloading and this is making my hands and my mind... mindless. I catch myself double checking how to spell things, or looking for confirmation on google for things I already know. Almost like a child, asking my phone for permission to do things or confirm things, like we would with our parents or guardians.

I used to write and memorize lines and be able to articulate an idea on the same day, now I type things amd forget them and have to go back and read it. I don't know if full out notepads is the way to combat my creative relatonship with my phone. When I go hiking on weekends or on a long walk on rest days I can use that time to think and process. My goal is to find a balance so that my ideas aren't only coming from a phone or being stored in a phone, my mind also is involved and I am becoming more mindful.

Here's to getting 1% better everyday. Here's to more intimacy with our thoughts and our actions. Here's to death of infinite scrolls.

Here's to not using our phones around people we are sharing experiences with, especially around our kids. If we see kids becoming addicted to technology, how can we correct it if it's in our hand just as much as them?

Like Shay J used to tell me, we look down on our phones so much... when's the last time we looked up for inspiration? Looked at the sky for inspiration or nature? Here's to looking straight ahead or more upwards then we look downward.

1.11.22

-MCMXX